DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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