I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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