i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
