his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
