Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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