She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
