I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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