I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
