oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
