Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
