only if we run a train.
done.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
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Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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