just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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