So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
