Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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