I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
