How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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