This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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