you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you win again, gameday.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
