She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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