I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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