sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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