I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
