OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
