how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
