All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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