If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
