Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
