Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
