we're blogging at a bar
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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