My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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