I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
