someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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