you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
