11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
