You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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