i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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