"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
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