So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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