i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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