normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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