A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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