help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think i have herpe
just one?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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