Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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