This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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