Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
