She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize