so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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