so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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