I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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