ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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