I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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