So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
