Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You're a waste of cheezeits
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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