I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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