i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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