D3 body, D1 cock
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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