I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize