i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You ruined the universe
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
