Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
