Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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